Happy New Year everyone! The last days of 2012 had me seriously reflecting back on my life in the past 12 months. I thought about things I had accomplished, efforts I had failed, goals I had set for myself for the year, and I thought about the last few months that have been utterly tumultuous for me. However, a new feeling is awash over me, which I have honestly never experienced (especially at this time of year) before: EXPANDED.
surround yourself with people who make you feel expanded”
A wise friend told me recently that you need to surround yourself with people who make you feel expanded. I am beginning to understand what she meant. When I think about my relationships (friends, family, co-workers), I have realized that I treat myself in the same way with each person. This is a sign that I was not caring for myself. I would be completely open and honest about myself and my feelings and thoughts with everyone, and then feel angry or resentful when some were not compassionate or understanding. If you think about your relationships like an onion, there are multiple layers to it, with you in the very centre. You have some friends and family that are very close to your heart, and who understand you for who YOU are, and respect and love YOU. Then you have outer layers of people which fulfill other aspects of your life, but may not know your history, or your personal life as intimately. What I have come to learn is that you don’t need to have every relationship next to your heart, at your most vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to reserve personal thoughts and opinions for only those who are closest to our hearts, who would never pass judgement to us, or make us feel smaller than we are.
you don’t need to have every relationship next to your heart, at your most vulnerable”
The other, outer layered friends, can be kept as well- but I know now that I don’t need to share everything with them. If there are those in your life who do not inspire you to be the best you can be – then maybe it is worth spending less time with those people. If people around you live lifestyles that you no longer want for yourself, you would do better to limit the time spent with those people. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, but this is how to you nurture yourself to grow to be a better and stronger person. You align with those that make you feel expanded, and inspired in your life.
I am pledging to devote this year to discovering myself. Allowing my inner voice to guide me (“~ing”, as Gabrielle Bernstein likes to call it), and really devoting my efforts to whatever and whomever makes me feel expanded. I am looking forward to putting hard work into the areas I want to change about myself, the things I want to create in my life, and friendships and relationships I want to strengthen.
I challenge you to make the commitment to care for yourSELF this year. To reflect on your current relationships and decide which ones are really inspiring you to expand in this world. Make a decision to devote less energy to those relationships that seem so forced, and difficult for you. Put more energy into the relationships with those who really believe in who YOU are, and care about your dreams. Expand yourself in 2013, and I guarantee you will succeed this year 🙂